Why can’t my anxiety schedule itself into my google calendar

Here’s the thing about anxiety - you never know when it’s gonna hit ya.

It could be in the middle of a trip to target, while you’re on the phone for work, facetimeing a friend or even just cleaning your room. Sure, you may see the signs of an anxiety attack coming on, but sometimes it’s unavoidable, and when it hits, it hits hard and has the potential to shift your whole day. 

Now picture this. You’re looking at your calendar and you see your schedule for the day:

Wake up + morning coffee at 7am

Emails + workday prep at 9am

Client call at 9:30am

Team meeting at 11am 

Lunch at 12:30pm

Anxiety Attack at 1pm 

And then since you see you have an anxiety attack on the calendar you schedule a lighter workload for the afternoon or maybe even take the rest of the day off.

Can you imagine?!

 As a very type-A person who lives by their google calendar, this would be amazing. However, we all know - life doesn’t work like that.

But why - why can’t my anxiety attacks schedule themselves into my google calendar? This way I can have ample time to prepare, get all my work done beforehand, and not get stressed and panicked about being stressed and panicked. But as I said,  life doesn’t work that way. Life doesn’t color-code your anxiety attacks in your calendar days in advance (no matter how many times I ask the universe to do so). 

Anxiety can be a b*tch to deal with at times, especially when you’re a young professional who sometimes tries to ignore that she has severe anxiety. But I am working on that - trying to shifting my mindset around it. Rather than look at it as my mind or body is failing me, I am trying (keyword is trying - not 100% successful yet) to look at it as my body/mind/soul telling me that I need to take a second and slow down, maybe step away from what I’m working on or what’s stimulating my mind, breath slower and just take a break.

But instead, what I tend to do is ignore the signs, push myself even harder, the anxiety heightens, and I get into a headspace where I get absolutely nothing accomplished. And by no means am I saying that everyone with anxiety (diagnosed or not) has this experience, but this is my truth and I am choosing to share that with you. I am also not saying that every time you get an anxiety attack you need to stop what you’re doing. I just know my truth, and for me, when I feel a pretty hefty anxiety attack coming, I know what I am working on will not be of good quality as my brain is foggy and distracted. And also, when I don’t take the time to acknowledge my anxiety in the moment and try to burry it, it’s not a good situation.

So why am I sharing this with you and what the heck does this have to do with business operations? Well, one reason is I felt that when I started my business, or honestly even when I simply graduated college and went into the workforce, that I constantly had to have my shit together at all times...and that’s simply not true. As a business owner or even business professional, you are still human, with human emotions and thoughts. And for me, through therapy and self-reflection, I know that I don’t produce quality work or think clearly when I’m dealing with my anxiety. So for me, it’s best if I step away, process my emotions, and then come back. Sometimes I am able to go back to work in 15 minutes or an hour, but sometimes it’s not until the next day.

It’s important to know and understand yourself and your emotions so that you are able to have a clear mind and produce the best work you can. Which is why I am sharing this with you. One, to let you know that anxiety is a b*tch and if you struggle with, you aren’t alone. But also, to let you know that emotions are a part of business and a part of the job and learning to manage those emotions and thoughts are important.

So, grant yourself grace, feel what you’re feeling, process if necessary, and continue to move forward (even if it’s not color-coded in your calendar).