Lies I’ve Told Myself - “You’re not a writer.”

We all have those lies we’ve told ourselves over the years. The ones that you don’t really remember where they stemmed from but you know they’re there.

They could be about your body, your mind, the way you do things - basically anything.

For me, one of the many lies I’ve told myself is that I am not a writer. 

Through a lot of reflection and thought I think it comes from my fear of being judged. Whether that be for my spelling, grammar, or the topic I am writing about, I fear that someone will read it and judge me. And before that was the worst thing that could happen. 

But let’s be honest, no matter how solid my grammar and spelling were, I could write about any topic and there’d be a person out there who would judge me. Who would have an issue with something that I said or how I said it. 

That’s just the nature of the world - you can’t please everyone. 

And so what?!  You shouldn’t want to please everyone. 

People who make change and shift the culture are not about people pleasing. 

There are people out there who will want to listen and connect with what I have to say, even if my grammar isn’t 100%.

So, why am I getting so caught up in people pleasing and refusing to write?

I actually love to write. 

When I was younger I would write my own short stories and poems ALL the time. And about the weirdest things too. So what changed?

By telling myself I am not a writer, I have been denying a part of myself that once brought me joy. 

It also caused me to avoid tasks and projects at work because I fear I won’t do them well. But if I don’t try, how will I get better and improve my writing?

I realize now that my thinking was (and still is somewhat) flawed. 

I try to work on this daily, by journaling and by reminding myself that I can be and do what I want if I set my mind to it. And if you don’t like what I have to say, that's okay too - just stop reading. 

My journey to developing my writing skills, as I said, is an ongoing, ever changing process. Writing about different topics, sharing different parts of myself, trying different writing styles, all to help me become a better writer and build confidence in an area that I hid for so long.